Math is FUN!

Sometimes, teaching math is so boring, I have to do something to amuse myself. I have discovered that the “Bonus Item” is the best way to accomplish this without losing my credibility as both an adult and a teacher. The “Bonus Item” appears at the end of an otherwise orthodox, boring exam. Aside from amusing me, benefits of the “Bonus Item” include: keeping students distracted who are finished with their test and may be tempted to distract others; allowing students who are very clever but not so good at, or interested in, math to earn a point or two on an exam they may have otherwise failed; and giving students the impression, albeit false, that Math is FUN!

Bonus Item Example #1: (from freshman Algebra)

Q: “What pneumonic device can you come up with (other than ‘Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally’) to remember the order of operations?”
A: “Please Excuse My Dear Augustine Sue LOL!”   [Augustine Sue is the former principal of Pohnpei Catholic School, where about half of the freshmen went to elementary school. His initials are unfortunate as far as this test is concerned.]

A: “Pohnpeians Eat Many Donuts…for example… Augustine Sue HAHA”

A: “Please Eat My Dog, Augustine Sue"   [I’m not sure if Augustine Sue is the name of the dog, or if he’s requesting that Augustine Sue eat his dog. Either way, there’s no laughter following this one – he wasn’t kidding.]

A: “Pohnpeians, Everytime, Make Delicious Apple Sauce"   [This is not true, judging by the time my mom sent it in a care package and I brought some to school. The other teachers asked, ‘Dahkot men?’ (‘What is that?’) ‘Applesauce,’ I answered. Receiving questioning looks, I tried again: ‘Apel...en waii...sukusuk?’ (‘Apple...of the foreigner (as opposed to local apple)...pounded?’) ‘Weioh...’ they said, understanding.]

A: “Pohnpeians Eat Mangoes Daily At Sundown”

A: “Planet Earth Moves Directly Across (the) Sun”   [I’m no science teacher, but that sounds like a stretch of the truth...]

A: “Please Enjoy My Daily Announcements, Sir!”

A: “Please Educate My Daughter And Son”

A: “Pig Executioners Mostly Don’t Act Sorry”  [An animal lover! An answer of my own heart. I wonder if so many pigs would be slaughtered if the people doing the slaughtering knew they were being called “executioners”...]

A: “Paul Executed Mom’s Dog At (the) Substation”  [Why? Why, Paul? And where exactly is there a substation on Pohnpei??]


Bonus Item #2: (from sophomore Geometry)

Q: “As we learned, a conjecture is an educated guess based on observation. Make 5 observations and conjectures about any subject.”

A: “Ms. Cocco doesn’t wear makeup and doesn’t have pierced ears. Therefore, Ms. Cocco must have brothers and not sisters.” [It’s true!]

A: “Ms. Cocco has slowtes [editor’s note: she means “slouches”]. Therefore, Ms. Cocco must have back problem.”

A: “Ms. Cocco doesn’t always shave her legs. Therefore, Ms. Cocco doesn’t like to shave her legs.” [Long skirts, come on! The students weren’t supposed to notice!]

A: “Ms. Cocco wears local skirts all the time. Therefore, Ms. Cocco wishes she is a Ponapean."

A: “Ms. Cocco looks old. Therefore, she’s about 25.”

A: “Ms. Coco always matches. Therefore, she’s had good style.” [THREE C's!]

A: “Ms. Cocco is light-skinned. Therefore, she is a Australian.”

A: “Ms. Cocco has great calves. Therefore, she hikes a lot and teaches aerobic class.” [A brown-noser extraordinaire.]

A: “Ms. Cocco talks about her dog all the time. Therefore, she must love dogs.”

A: “Ms. Cocco doesn’t know how to teach biology.” [There was no reason given for this. I’m not sure what to think, but I’m glad it says “biology” instead of “geometry”.]

A: “I don’t understand this, therefore this is hard. I am bored, therefore this is boring.” [He may not have intended to answer this correctly, but he’ll get full bonus credit for this answer!]

A: “Ms. Cocco is always wearing a cross on her neck. Therefore, she’s atheist. LOL”

A: “Ms. Cocco walks everywhere, therefore she is poor.” [These answers are making me poor in spirit…]

A: “Ms. Cocco teaches barefoot sometimes. Therefore, sometimes she loses her slippers.”

A: “Ms. Cocco taught us a cheerleading move last year to remember how to multiply binomials. Therefore, Ms. Cocco has a second job as a professional cheerleader.”

A: “Ms. Cocco speaks some Pohnpeian words. Therefore, maybe she’s tricking us and actually knows a lot of Pohnpeian and understands everything we say about her!!!!!!”

A: “Ms. Cocco is wearing a polo shirt today. Therefore, she’s kind of a nerd.”

A: “I didn’t fall asleep in this class yet this year. Therefore, Geometry is better than Algebra.” [Orrrrr…. Ms. Cocco is a great teacher?]

A: “Our Lady of Mercy Catholic High School has the word Catholic in the name. Therefore, it is not a school for Jewish or Islam people.”


Two successful Bonus Items; I am thoroughly amused.